[verse]
What thoughts do you think as you ski down the mountain?
"Gosh, that's a lovely red flag" you might wonder.
Or perhaps you'll be looking at trees in the distance,
Is there any wildlife hiding out among them?

[alt verse]
The powder fine snow erupts from the side of your skis,
As you throttle down the mountainside getting faster each minute.
Do you slalom through the flags, or just aim for a good time?
Is there an end to this race, and are you destined to win it?

[chorus]
Who knows what might happen on the slopes,
With your bright orange ski-poles in hand.
Your goggles look smart under your wooliest of hats,
And your bold day-glow pants are as sharp as you'd planned.

[break]

[verse]
You squint at the watch, strapped firm to your wrist,
And wonder why you bothered to bring it, this trip.
Your goggles are dark, and you can't see the hands,
You probably should've gone with a phone on your hip.

[alt verse]
Above you, the chairlifts are grunting along,
They carry more skiers to the top of the hill.
Do you head up right now, or stop for a brew?
Perhaps you could tell folk that you were just ill.

[chorus]
Who knows what might happen on the slopes,
With your bright orange ski-poles in hand.
Your goggles look smart under your wooliest of hats,
And your bold day-glow pants are as sharp as you'd planned.

[interlude]

[bridge]
With wind in your ears, and snow on your chin,
You begin your descent to the place you will end.
Head down, feet apart, and you push off to start,
Now you're racing for glory. The speed is your friend.
There's no-one else racing. Just you and yourself.
No trainers, no pupils, not even an elf.
The flags have all gone, and the surface is clean,
I'm not sure this is where you are meant to have been.

[break]

[chorus]
Who knows what might happen on the slopes,
With your bright orange ski-poles in hand.
Your goggles look smart under your wooliest of hats,
And your bold day-glow pants are as sharp as you'd planned.

JNKCE20250904

Force of Nature
Int. Dave's Games and ScrunchCakes

[The shop is still decorated in tartan. The orange glow from the ceiling seems stronger]

Dave: May September the Fourth be with you!
Green: That's not how that works, Dave.
Dave: Yarr. Shure it ish.
Green: And please stop with the accents.
Dave: But we're still doing Scottish week!
Green: I know we are. Why are you doing Star Wars stuff?
Dave: Because it's the fourth..
Green: May, David.
Dave: No, it's still September.

[A random Health Inspector enters, looking concerned at the glowing ceiling]

Inspector: Mr Parker, I've been asked to look into the ominous orange in your shop.
Dave: Ah yes! That's our revolutionary new food preservation system!
Green: [under breath] Oh no...
Dave: You see, the molecular resonance creates a protective barrier that...
Inspector: The what?
Green: [holding hands up] Stop! Stop this, stop. It's nothing bad, it's nothing silly. It's nothing to worry about.
Inspector: We've had numerous complaints that the ominous glow might be radioactive.
Dave: Radioactive? I never considered. [scribbles down "radioactivity" into his notepad]
Green: No, it's just the fridge.
[Greenie points to the mini-fridge in the corner of the room, sporting a new orange led]

Inspector: Fridges don't normally glow like that.
Dave: We can't shut off the light, so we decided to change the colour to match Scottish Week!
Inspector: Orange?
Dave: It matches the Irn Bru ScrunchCakes. [motions to tray of ScrunchCakes] Would you like one?
Green: I don't think he wants to try one.
Inspector: I'd like to try one.
Green: You really wouldn't.

[End Credits Roll]